That which was once a pleasure has become a pain. There has been too much interference from outside and from those who have their own particular axes to grind and seek to hide their own mediocrity by attacking the efforts of their superiors. There has been too much emphasis on what things look like rather than what they really are, too much disrespect and too much labelling of those who speak out as dissidents.
Too many things have gone wrong.
It's bad enough when attacks come from outside, but when the body itself rebels, when the invaders are already here and attacking from within, then hope fades and the will to fight is dulled and we are left with just enough energy to crawl up the stairs and go to bed hoping that if and when we wake it will all have gone away. But I know that it will not.
So, what can I drink. No wine, no beer, no cognac, in fact no alcohol at all, no fruit juice, no milk, no drinks containing sugar, no drinks containing fat. Water. What a fun evening is in store! What a fun life. A bit of a blow.
In from playing for a course for would be conductors. Some were good, some merely okay, none were bad. None were bad because these were the people who, having chosen their path, decided to take some lessons to learn how to do it properly. It was a pleasure to work with them.
Of course, there are those we never see on such courses - they are the ones who, seeing a group of people who have spent all their lives studying an instrument, believe that they can pick up a stick and play a full orchestra with no training, no help and no practice. These same people ask us to treat them with respect. No, I'm sorry. If you will not pay me the respect of at least spending five minutes to learn how to beat four beats in a bar if that is what the music demands, then why should I give up a day of my life for you?
When I was younger and had lots of time, I would tolerate these oafs. Now, as so many things tell me that time is short, I do not.
